Essential Holiday Reading Vol. 2

More bizarre and off-beat holiday books (and a couple comics, too) to help get you into the spirit of the season.


A VERY STRANGEHOUSE CHRISTMAS
What do a Gasmask-Wearing, post-apocalyptic Santa Claus, A Weed Witch bent on fucking Christmas, a family of abominable snow beasts, and people with Christmas present heads have in common? They could only exist inside the bizarre and horrific world of StrangeHouse Books!

This collection of 9 twisted tales of Christmas horror brings together weirdo literary talent from around the world, all with the sole purpose of turning the most sacred of holidays on its head, and making sweet, sweet love to its defenseless ear holes!

Join SHB ring leader Kevin Strange, as well as StrangeHouse anthology alumni Rich Bottles Jr., Jesse Wheeler, KM Tepe, and newcomers like Lindsey Goddard and MP Johnson on this sometimes magical, always fucked up journey to the north pole. We promise you'll never look at Christmas the same way ever again!


THE HUMAN SANTAPEDE
Santa Claus is coming to town...at least, that was the plan, but now his elves have started going missing, kidnapped by some insidious figure in a black cloak, and despite the magic swirling about the place, the toys aren't going to put themselves together. So begins a terrifying game of cat and mouse as Kris Kringle searches The Land of Christmas for his abducted minions, unaware that he is to play an integral part in his foe's plans. Krampus is pissed at Santa after lending him his snowblower and never getting it back. His punishment? To build a Human Santapede long enough to stretch around The Land of Christmas, and at its helm, the jolly fat man himself. Can Santa - aided by his best foreman, Finklefoot - get his elves back, defeat Krampus, and save Christmas before it is too late, or will Krampus succeed in creating the ghastliest single-file organism the North Pole has ever seen? Ho-Ho-Holy Shit, things are about to get messy...


IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE ZOMBIES
The snow is falling, the holidays are approaching and…It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! This delightfully depraved book of classic Zombie Christmas carols by Michael P. Spradlin is guaranteed to spread Yuletide cheer to all those good boys and ghouls who devoured the monster New York Times bestsellers Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and World War Z, as well as fans of 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead. With an introduction by the inimitable Christopher Moore—bestselling author of Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, and the classic “heartwarming tale of Christmas terror” The Stupidest Angel—It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies is a great gift for stuffing into a Christmas stocking…provided you remove the bloody severed foot first!


KRAMPUS - THE YULE LORD
One Christmas Eve in a small hollow in Boone County, West Virginia, struggling songwriter Jesse Walker witnesses a strange spectacle: seven devilish figures chasing a man in a red suit toward a sleigh and eight reindeer. When the reindeer leap skyward taking the sleigh, devil men, and Santa into the clouds, screams follow. Moments later, a large sack plummets earthward, a magical sack that will thrust the down-on-his luck singer into the clutches of the terrifying Yule Lord, Krampus. But the lines between good and evil become blurred as Jesse's new master reveals many dark secrets about the cherry-cheeked Santa Claus, and how half a millennium ago, the jolly old saint imprisoned Krampus and usurped his magic.
Now Santa's time is running short, for the Yule Lord is determined to have his retribution and reclaim Yuletide. If Jesse can survive this ancient feud, he might have the chance to redeem himself to his family, to save his own broken dreams...and help bring the magic of Yule to the impoverished folk of Boone County.


LICK YOUR NEIGHBOR
When Dale Alden of the Duxbury Historical Preservation Society awakes on the morning before Thanksgiving, there's a turkey hanging from a tree in his backyard, a duck hanging from a rope in his fridge, an ill-tempered farmer in his bedroom, cops on his doorstep, and his son's greasy, drumstick-clutching hand in his face. And that's all before he leaves for work. Mutant ninjas, a talking whale, kung-fu masters, maniacal Pilgrims and an alcoholic clown populate Chris Genoa's surreal, darkly comical and unnerving reimagining of the first Thanksgiving. Put down your feathered headdresses, puritan collars and buckled shoes and prepare to get schooled in the alternate history lesson they never mentioned in grade school.


THE LAST CHRISTMAS
After the apocalypse, no one is safe; not even at the North Pole. After tragedy strikes, Santa withdraws from life and turns his back on Christmas. When he finally emerges from seclusion, the old world is gone forever, and as Santa struggles to find his way in a post-apocalyptic world, can he find a way to save Christmas too?


TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE KRAMPUS
You've heard the legend of "jolly ol' St. Nicholas," but do you know the truth? St. Nick is real. And he ain't jolly. An endless cosmic brawl between Nicholas and his vile Holiday counterpart, Krampus, will come to a cataclysmic head this snowy Christmas Eve. But this year, only one will emerge victorious. Can St. Nicholas save Christmas Day? Or will this Eve forever be known as "The Night Before Krampus."