Esther Perel - Mating in Captivity- Sex, Lies and Domestic Bliss

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic
by Esther Perel

'An elegant sociological study, complete with erudite literary and anthropological references' (Daily Telegraph)
'Reads like a cross between the works of Jacques Lacan and French Women Don't Get Fat' (The New Yorker)
'At precisely the same moment that you're being shocked by her, you're also acknowledging the validity of her ideas. Perel's ideas are like the chorus of a really good pop song - instantly familiar because they resonate deeply. It's all rather terrifying in its intuitiveness and its pure rightness' (Observer)

One of the world's most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

If you're in a long-term relationship, or ever want to be in one, you must read this book.

It tells you how to have the security, stability, comfort, etc that are requirements for a healthy a LT relationship while at the same time creating the uncertainty, mystery, and risk that are requirements for passion.

The author is a therapist in NY and draws on cases to illustrate her points. It's engaging, the topic is fascinating, and Perel has some refreshingly smart suggestions for maintaining or recapturing eroticism in relationships. Note that this book probably won't resonate with everybody: some of her suggestions have a healthy disregard for the status quo, which the iconoclastic realist in me appreciates.

Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel, is based on a seemingly unintuitive premise – that intimacy is often counterproductive for desire. In this book, which displays a profoundly European perspective on sexuality, too close a relationship is often the reason for a sexual drought. As the author explains, the common belief that fixing the intimacy will fix the sexual relationship isn’t always correct. Sometimes, increasing the intimacy in a relationship actually makes the couple’s sex life worse.
Review

This is an extremely well written and highly appealing book. Not only is it inclusive and non-judgmental about a range of sexualities, but the writing is extremely flexible. An example is the chapter incorporating descriptions of relationships that include S&M. It looks at male submission as well as female submission, and puts them both in the light of a "break" from the enforced equality that can be both a wonderful part of American society and completely exhausting.

The ways in which Perel describes her interventions with individual clients makes it clear that these are individual solutions, and the developmental process with which she comes up with them is both informative and insightful.

More books: http://love-life-guide.blogspot.co.uk