Mongrels S01 Season 1 HDTV 720p 2ch x265 [S-Less] ***REPACK***

Nelson (Urban fox; vulpus metrosexualus)

The only wild fox in East London with subscriptions to all the major broadsheets (excluding The Sunday Times), Nelson is, as he never tires of introducing himself at dinner parties... "An urbane fox!"

"Ha-ha-ha. Ah, ruddy classic! No come on now, if we can just be serious for a minute…"

He's also our hero. Because while being a fan of everything Ben Elton has ever done "post-Blackadder" and buying high-end gluten-free French chutneys from a carbon-neutral importer on the Kings Road are valid lifestyle choices if you're a human… less so when you're a fox.

And so, in just being himself Nelson is blazing a trail, he's kicking down social barriers. He is, in short, Rosa Parks with National Trust membership.

He also fancies Destiny. And yes, he's also aware that unspoken love is a sitcom cliché.



Marion (Alleycat; felis retardicus)

Age: no idea. Ethnicity: not sure. Country of origin: dunno, like maybe Morocco or something? This much we DO know about Marion: he's been abandoned by a lot of owners, thrown into a lot of canals, ditched in a lot of lay-bys, left in a lot of very stuffy, very locked cars.

It's probably because of his deep-rooted abandonment issues that Marion clings so tightly to his good friend Nelson. Frankly he needs all the paternal guidance he can get. A simple (some may say 'borderline retarded') soul, Marion is nothing if not highly corruptible.

Safe to say, it won't be curiosity that kills this cat, it'll be fact that he's been brainwashed by radical hedgehogs into sticking a firework up his own arse and then martyring himself.



Destiny (Afghan Hound; canis self-absorbedbitchicus)

There are two great tragedies in Destiny's life:

1) That she was born a dog and not for example, Lauren Conrad who used to be in The Hills. Or failing that any of the cast members from Laguna Beach. Or failing that at the absolute, absolute least Charlotte Church, but right now, not when she was all fat and maternal.

2) That her owner Gary always wears that s***ting tracksuit.



At heart, angel-faced perfectly groomed pedigree Destiny is just a sweet teenage romantic. And like all sweet teenage female romantics, she has the dead-eyed psychotic ruthlessness of a freelance Serbian assassin when it comes to getting what she wants. Which isn't Nelson. Ever. Ever. Ever-ever-ever. And yes, she's aware that unrequited love is also a sitcom cliché.



Kali (Pigeon; aves aggravaticus)

Grey feathers, red legs, black heart. Kali is a spiteful, petty, vindictive, s***ty little bird with a small beak and a big voice. In fact there's only one thing in life she enjoys more than revelling in other people's misfortune, and that's causing other people's misfortune and then revelling in it a bit afterwards (like maybe over some coffee and a bagel from the bins near Pret). She also seriously bears a grudge:

Against all of humankind for their years of tyranny against her winged brethren!

Against the entire vulpine species for their years of tyranny against her winged brethren!

Against Harry Hill for making a slightly off-colour comment re: her mum in an episode of You've Been Framed once back in 2008!

So yeah. Be afraid. Be slightly afraid.



Vince (Urban fox; vulpus c***itcus)

Potty-mouthed sociopath Vince is everything Nelson is not. Did you just call me a ****?

He's a REAL fox.

He's a PROPER wild animal.

He's a red-blooded chicken-eating homicidal PREDATOR.

As a consequence some of his eBay feedback is frankly appalling.

But with his simply adorable catchphrase ("Morning ****s!"), his loveable, kooky madcap antics (eating his own young; butchering dead women) and his charming penchant for a good ole Cockney sing-a-long ("come on everyone… **** Chickens!") Vince is every inch the perfect next-door neighbour.

Yeah. Like **** he is.

Ep. 01 Nelson the Online Predator

A group of animals meet in the back garden of a London pub. Nelson, a fox,steals a computer and starts an online romance, seemingly with a woman called Wendy but actually a vengeful hen called Ruth, out to get her own back on fox-kind. Afghan hound Destiny bites her owner Gary so that he will take her to Obedience Class, where she has taken a shine to bad-boy dog Rivers, whilst Marion, a cat whose owner has just died, finds a new home when he takes the place of missing lookalike Chopsticks. Sadly for him Chopsticks returns.



Ep. 02 Destiny the Reluctant Sniffer Dog

Marion goes to the disco where he first sniffs catnip and becomes addicted until Nelson cures him by getting him to sniff so much it makes him ill. Nelson looks after his sickly nephew Kieran, the runt of the litter, with whom he identifies as he, like presenter Paul Ross, was also the runt. Kieran seems to have a bright future solving jigsaw puzzles - until a cupboard falls on him. Destiny finds out that she can identify her future partner by bottom sniffing. She almost ends up with Nelson until she discovers that the smell she likes best is her own bottom. Malicious pigeon Kali gets an explosive revenge on Dean, a Scouse dove who has found God and who converts the predators sent to kill him.



Ep. 03 Marion the Young Lover

Marion falls for a kitten called Lollipop but she is under-age for sex and he has to wait another day before she is legal.Having used up most of his nine lives can he survive? Destiny meets a guide dog and decides to blind Gary so she can be his guide. Unfortunately she blinds the dog and has to take on his owner who comes to a sticky end when she passes him onto Nelson. Nelson auditions for 'Springwatch' but finds that the animals are all actors and two of them plan to kill him live on camera. Fortunately violent cousin Vince is star-struck and can be persuaded to take Nelson's place.



Ep. 04 Nelson the Stroke Virgin

When Marion saves a child from drowning Destiny takes the credit and becomes a superstar until she fails to save another toddler and is exposed as a fraud, becoming Britain's most Hated Dog. She does redeem herself by rescuing Nelson who, in his desire to be stroked, gets locked in a cage on a petting farm with a coachload of sticky-fingered kids coming to stroke him to death. Kali meets a lesbian crow who wants to introduce her to the local avian gay scene and has to be frightened off by a phallic scarecrow.



Ep. 05 Kali the Genetic Engineer

Sex-mad Destiny is on cloud nine when her new boyfriend Archie cannot get enough with her. However she feels betrayed when she discovers that Gary has paid his owner and this is a stud dog, brought in to get her pregnant. Nelson's French pen-friend Christian arrives but behaves very oddly, showing mood swings and frothing at the mouth. He has rabies. Nelson believes he has caught it but his test samples got mixed up and the real sufferer is Archie, putting paid to Gary's little plan. Having survived a pigeon cull Kali plans revenge by creating a super-beast to take over the world, a pigeox, a cross between a pigeon and a fox.



Ep. 06 Destiny the Infectious Risk

Gary feels mean when Kali gets impaled on one of the anti-vermin spikes he's put on the roof, takes her in and feeds her. She balloons in size. Nelson falls for Sandra, a filthy, bad-mannered vixen he meets at the rubbish dump because she is in heat and he finds her attractive. Against his friends' advice he marries her and soon regrets it. Fortunately for him a newly released Kali falls on top of her, making him a widower. Destiny wins a dog show, thanks to some wise-cracking fleas who have infested her and helped her win the intelligence test but her subsequent behaviour towards them is ungrateful.



Ep. 07 Marion the Superfluous Feed Character

Having accidentally put Vince into a coma Nelson looks after his territory and tries to bring culture to its occupants - in vain. For Destiny, however, fed up with being controlled by all the men in her life, Vince is the perfect placid boyfriend who never answers back - until he comes round. Kali is appalled that the electrocution of her mother is shown on 'You've Been Framed' and hatches a plan to kill Harry Hill.



Ep. 08 Nelson the Naughty Arsonist

Kali has her wings clipped and ends up grounded and, unless she can wing it, Vince will eat her. Destiny gets snapped up by a photographer but learns that she is modelling for dog porn - the dreaded advertising calendar. Marion joins a group of animals intent on stopping the Bonfire Night celebrations by blowing up the pub, with Destiny inside. Nelson and Marion set out to save her but Kali's new rocket-powered jet propulsion ends the evening with a bang and lands them all in hospital. Or was it just a dream?



Extra (Documentary):

Mongrels Uncovered SDTV 2ch x265 [S-Less]

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