Peter Kays Collection[Phoenix Nights]-complete collection series

Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights is a BAFTA-nominated British sitcom about The Phoenix Club, a working men's club in the northern English town of Bolton, Greater Manchester. The show is written by Neil Fitzmaurice, Peter Kay, Patrick McGuinness and Dave Spikey, produced by Goodnight Vienna Productions and Ovation Entertainments, and was broadcast on Channel 4 in the UK. All the music was written by Toni Baker and Peter Kay. Two series have been produced, which were first transmitted in 2001 and 2002.

The show is a spin-off from the spoof documentary series That Peter Kay Thing, and in turn gave rise to the spin-off Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere. It won the People's Choice Award at the British Comedy Awards 2002, and was nominated for several others. Kay is also its star, in multiple roles, and directed the second series. In September 2006, Kay revealed on BBC Radio 1 that a third series of Phoenix Nights has been written, but it is unknown when the series will be filmed. On 8 May 2007, another announcement by Kay was made promising another series will be made.

However Dave Spikey, in interviews with The Sentinel and the Croydon Guardian in late-2009, claimed that neither he nor fellow co-writer Neil Fitzmaurice were aware of any plans to bring back the series as of December 2010, nothing has yet materialised.

Bonus CD Tracklist[mp3-320k]

1. Phoenix Night's Theme - Toni Baker
2. Stop Crappin' and Get Crackin' - Jerry St Clair & Brian Potter
3. Send the Buggers Back - Half A Shilling
4. Dance the Night Away - Jerry St Clair & Les Alanos
5. Phoenix Club Sign - John 'Fingers' Wood
6. Mr Sandman - Fan Dup Toe
7. Potter's Theme - Toni Baker
8. Man, I Feel Like a Woman - Brian Potter
9. I Have a Dream - Brian Potter & The Phoenix Team
10. Reach (For the Stars) - Jerry St Clair & Les Alanos
11. Bye, Bye Baby / The Guest Speaker - Den Perry feat. Keith Lard
12. Perfect 10 - Jerry St Clair & Les Alanos
13. Ray Von - Ray Von & Brian Potter
14. A Psychic Phenomenon - Clinton Baptiste
15. Friendly Advice - Brian Potter and Jerry St Clair
16. Whatever You Do, Don't Rush - Jerry St Clair & Brian Potter
17. Bat Out of Hell - Young Kenny
18. Club Rules - Brian Potter
19. Black Bin Bags (Come and Get Your) - Jerry St Clair
20. Get Here - Michelle Coffee
21. New York, New York - Jerry St Clair & The Pissin Lighthouse Family
22. Potter's Soul - Toni Baker & The Stockport Horns
23. Celebration - Jerry St Clair, Brian Potter & Les Alanos
24. (I'm a) One Girl Guy - One Legged Elvis


Episode 1

It is the opening day of Brian Potter's new club, the Phoenix. With "TV's own Roy Walker" opening the club that night, Brian wants everything to be perfect. But a power cut that leaves the club in the dark, the theft of the bingo machine, a German-speaking arcade machine, Max the doorman injuring himself and a perceived racist folk band, with the lead singer being played by Tim Healy. The band are ostensibly singing about Holy Communion Shoes, although the journalist Deborah detects a racist metaphor. These factors soon ruin everything.

Episode 2

The new DJ, Ray Von accidentally kills The Captain with his home-made smoke machine. Things go from bad to worse when two men in overalls walk in off the street and steal the television set, with all of the staff doing nothing about it, except for Kenny Senior who kindly hands them the remote control. A warped Snooker table is replaced by a bucking bronco, which leads to a Wild West Night being held, it is a huge success, until Jerry's blatantly rigged shoot out between Lancashire and Yorkshire gets violent and a drunken horse tries to have sex with the bucking bronco.

Episode 3

Jerry St. Clair has booked out a psychic medium for the club, who comes highly recommended by Den Perry, with Jerry seemingly oblivious to the fact that Den Perry wants the Phoenix Club to fail. Brian and Jerry then have to attend a fire safety seminar with Keith Lard (from That Peter Kay Thing), who was arrested for "interfering" with dogs, but was acquitted due to lack of evidence. After the meeting, Jerry and Brian rush back to the club before Keith inspects it, but a run in with the police delays them and Keith shuts the club down for being unsafe. Brian, never a quitter, blackmails Lard with a faked photo of his head onto a picture of a semi-nude man with a dog so that he re-opens the club, but the event they re-open for, the psychic night, forces Brian to refund all of his guests after Clinton Baptiste, the psychic (whose appearance and vocal mannerisms parody UK television psychic Derek Acorah), tells a bit more about the future than the guests would like.

Episode 4

It's 'Singles Night' at the Phoenix club, and the club's house band, Les Alanos, and doormen Max and Paddy are all looking. Brian is the most successful though, when he accidentally runs over a woman's foot before buying her a drink and talking the night away. Throughout the episode, their relationship progresses, until she (Beverley) reveals to Brian that she works for the DSS and was sent to investigate him for fraudulent disability claims. Despite Beverley's claims that her feelings for him are genuine, Brian finishes with her. Elsewhere, Paddy strikes up a relationship with Holy Mary's daughter Mary.

Episode 5

Jerry is in hospital, before Brian argues with Jerry's decision to host an alternative comedy night, the comedy night turns out to be a disaster, with none of the entrants being good. At the end of it all, Jerry has a heated confrontation with a student who had been heckling him, until he threatens to hit him and all of the staff stick up for Jerry. Elsewhere, Ray Von hosts a Robot Wars tournament, which is won by Max and Paddy, who are using a robot built by Ray, who has a penchant for electronics. At the end of the episode, a man called Dougie offers Jerry a job on a cruise ship.

Episode 6

Jerry gets an all clear, however Brian tells him to keep pretending to be ill because the club got the rights to host Talent Trek because of Jerry's illness. Tensions boil when Brian has to hire a Right Said Fred tribute band called 'Right Said Frank' for the Grand Final due to Les Alanos performing a Karate Kid musical with the local youth club on the same night . Right Said Frank end up stealing stereos from all the cars parked outside. Ray Von tries to stop them but he is overpowered. Luckily, they slam into Max's car which sets off his personal alarm, Heard by Max and Paddy, they rush outside and tackle the two men to the ground. Brian then reveals to the audience that Jerry has got an all clear for his illness. The series concludes with Den Perry, outraged at the success of the Phoenix Club, setting it on fire.



Series 2

Episode 1

Brian and the staff watch the club burn to the ground, with Jerry managing to rescue Brian's little disabled boy. After the flames are put out, The fireman reveal the fire was caused by a discarded cigarette or cigar, leading Brian to believe Den Perry was responsible. Brian then has to appear in court due to his breach of fire and safety regulations and as a result his alcohol license is revoked. A broken man, Brian dreams of rebuilding the Phoenix Club. On his trip to Asda, he finds Jerry and Alan singing to promote products. Brian begs Jerry to help him to rebuild the Phoenix but Jerry rebuffs him and tells him to forget about the Phoenix. Still undeterred, Brian travels to Blackpool to visit an old friend, Frank Cartwright (played by Jim Bowen), owner of the Hotel "Le Ponderosa", who tells him to sell bottles and cans to get around the ban, get a licensee who he can manipulate and have lots of facilities under one roof. Brian then goes around to find all of the staff, he finds Les working as a butcher, Kenny Senior as a lollipop man, Ray Von at a fairground, and Holy Mary in church. In what was to become an iconic moment for the series he calls Max and Paddy as they are driving elderly Asian gentlemen to the mosque and singing at the tops of their voices to Is This the Way to Amarillo by Tony Christie, which is playing on Chorley FM. Brian succeeds in bringing all of them together to discuss his plans, and convinces Jerry to become the new licensee.

Episode 2

Reconstruction is going quite well, and a fun day is organized to raise awareness of the rebuilding. However, an inflatable that looks like an erect penis is not popular with the staff so it is fastened to the ground and covered up. Unfortunately, the penis escapes from its cover and explodes, shocking everyone who is spending their money. Furthermore, a botched face-painting job leaves Young Kenny with a permanent tiger face. Elsewhere, Max and Paddy go to France to stock up on booze while unwittingly picking up two Chinese immigrants in the process.

Episode 3

Brian decides to get the club on Crimetime for publicity and a chance to accuse Den Perry, changes are made throughout the club to make it look good for the TV crew, but the TV appearance is a disaster when Brian loses it after he believes that he is being accused of burning the club down himself. Elsewhere, Spencer is hired for the vacant bar job.

Episode 4

Brian comes across two Japanese people promoting their new lager, and offers them a chance to promote it in the club, an offer they accept, a pub quiz is arranged, with the winner taking home a years supply of the lager, both Brian and Den Perry enter teams to try and win it. Brian's team wins, but his victory is short-lived when it turns out the lager is non-alcoholic. In the other suite, Jerry's medication binge gets the better of him and he loses it on stage, which causes him to go into the next suite and urinate everywhere, shocking the customers.

Episode 5

A power cut in Brian's home sees him stuck on his stair lift all night until Jerry breaks his door down the next morning. At the club, Jerry has turned part of the club into a Chinese restaurant called "The Golden Phoenix", and a ladies night has been arranged, which causes Paddy to go onto the stage dressed in nothing but a fake moustache, leather thong and a trident. Outside, Max is accosted by a woman who wants her husband killed. Max deals with her that he will kill her husband for £8000. Lying to Paddy that she will pay them both £1000, Paddy goes with him to do the job. Max, Paddy and Max's brother Terry go to practise shooting using a Broomhandled Mauser which Max's grandad left to him. When Paddy starts to fire, he accidentally shoots Terry. Eventually, Max and Paddy can't kill the man and give him £3000 to leave the country, Max gives Paddy £1000, and spends £4000 on a motor home.

Episode 6

Max and Paddy spot the man they were meant to kill in town, and are later confronted by his angry wife, who hints that she has put a hit out on them, she also reveals that she paid Max £8000 to Paddy, who only received £1000. In the club, Brian has arranged Stars In Your Eyes to impress a brewery representative who is coming over, Den Perry however, has other ideas and cancels the acts by impersonating Jerry, however, in a memorable series of scenes, all of the staff from the club dress up to become acts, including Holy Mary as Lulu, Ray Von and Les Alanos as Adam and the Ants, Kenny Senior as Britney Spears, Young Kenny as Meat Loaf, Jerry as Eminem, Brian as Elton John and Spencer as Gary Glitter. At the end of the episode, Den Perry threatens Brian and talks to him about burning the club down before and makes threats to do it again, unaware that Brian has switched on a radio microphone on his desk, meaning that the entire club has heard the conversation. Den Perry is arrested and the staff celebrate. Ray Von then reminds Brian now the truth has come out, he can get his license back. However, Brian decides to let Jerry remain as licensee and the staff hold a toast to Jerry. At the end of the episode, Max, terrified that there is a hit out on him, is about to flee all over the country in his motor home, when Paddy decides to come with him, setting the scene for the spin-off series Max and Paddy's Road to Nowhere.