Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant & Karl Pilkington BBC Radio 2 Xmas 2005 (MP3)

Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant & Karl Pilkington BBC Radio 2 Xmas 2005 (MP3)

MP3
64kbps
2hrs23mins

The dawn of a new age: Karl at the BBC. Ricky, Stephen & Karl look after Jonathan Ross's Saturday morning BBC Radio 2 slot, whilst he is away. 2 Episodes.

BBC Radio 2 Show - 24 December 2005
Track Listing
1. A Whole New Audience (0:00:00)
Introductions all around; Ricky and Steve are amazed that Karl will be new to some people. To help explain the man, Ricky explains that Karl's favourite film is The Elephant Man and why. Steve is a goggle-eyed freak - does Karl remember the first time he met him?
2. I Feel Like a Stepfather (0:02:31)
This will be the last time Ricky mentions Jonathan Ross, and intends to shave millions of listeners off his audience. Check out RickyGervais.com for pics of Karl, looking like Mr Spoon, Bod, or Charlie Brown. Karl turns the attention towards Steve's looks instead.
3. Karl the Cat (0:05:55)
Ricky wants to talk about the big-headed lads at Karl's school who didn't hang out together. Did they live near a power plant? Karl has another go at Steve and Steve comes back with an email about Karl being the missing link. When Steve goes back to Bristol, is it a bit of a shock to his friends and family?
4. What's the Newest Thing You've Got In Here? (0:08:44)
Ricky's mum was always relieved when Christmas was over. What marks the end of Christmas? Ricky and Karl went shopping at a posh antique shop in St James's, the whole experience of which dumbfounded Karl. Karl asks input about whether it's OK to give Suzanne a camera he got as a leaving gift from Xfm. Ricky and Steve are upset to the point of anger about this. They make him tell the listeners what Karl got her for Christmas last year, the infamous condoms.
5. I've Had Bad Experiences in the Past (0:14:04)
The producer wants them to give out the web address in case anyone wants to listen again, which amuses Ricky and Steve to no end. More Karl and the Camera chat, and Ricky and Steve reads out listener input, all of whom are opposed to Karl giving Suzanne the camera. What if they took pictures of their genitals, or put a note in the box? Karl recounts the Victoria Plum story.
6. No Association with Blockbusters (0:19:21)
It's competition time, and the prize is a framed platinum Madonna disc and a copy of Extras and Flanimals. A listener has bought his wife a silver necklace and had it put in a box that says 'white gold'. Karl explains Rockbusters for the new audience and cites the classic Whitney Houston example.
7. Bob Holness, Eat Your Heart Out! (0:24:17)
Karl gives out the Rockbusters clues.
8. 88 to 91 FM (0:27:33)
Some proper Radio 2 schtick with an intro to the next link and the news.
9. The Time to Talk About Jesus (0:27:58)
Karl gives out the Rockbusters clues once again and the winner himself calls this "the worst quiz ever". Karl is nervous about talking about Christmas and Steve recounts the time he and his sister were arguing about religion, only to have Mrs Merchant put a stop to it.
10. The Gift of Karl (0:31:46)
Ricky and Steve would like to see Karl bottled or pickled in a jar. Let's remember the Wise Men - what would you have gotten the baby Jesus? A Wise Men role play follows. Karl wonders if the gifts were for Christmas or Jesus' birthday.
11. Karl's Little Thought (0:34:17)
There's lots of festive food in the Radio 2 studio. Karl's been listening to the station to prepare, and recounts how Wogan does 'Thought of the Day' which Karl wants to carry on. He inadvertently insults vicars and shows some naivety about their lives. Write or text in with questions for Karl. Ricky tells the listeners about Karl's "man moth" mistake.
12. You Must Be the Richest Man in Bristol (0:38:34)
A vicar emails in, and actually swears in his note. Steve talks about the reversible jacket his father got for Christmas. Karl picked up a catalogue for an old woman who lives next to his mam and dad and she still talks about it. This is the woman whose mam's a witch, and Ricky, Steve and Karl remember the other people from Karl's estate, including the family with the horse in their house.
13. Made in the Image of Bod (0:45:04)
Another vicar has emailed in. Does Karl go against Creationism or for it? Ricky asks the vicar listeners if Karl can go and give a short sermon at their church. Listeners have sent in questions for Karl, including someone asking him to prove they are live on air, which Karl can't quite do. Karl's Mam's budgie died last night. Where would they go if they had a time machine? Ricky recounts the old advert about a man who believes he was a cow at the birth of Jesus. If he went back in time, Karl would take a gun and shoot a tiger in the head.
14. Handing Them Out with His Hands and His Feet (0:52:40)
The C. of E. Communications Director has written in and wants Karl to do a sermon in Manchester. Karl doesn't want to because he went once as a kid, when his mate Jamie made him go because he swore. Karl has a Christmas Monkey News about a monkey Santa Claus.



BBC Radio 2 Show - 31 December 2005
Track Listing
1. One of the Most Stupid Men I've Ever Met (0:00:00)
Karl is re-introduced and Ricky has drawn a picture of Karl that listeners can bid on. Ricky has bought a children's Bible for Karl who is going to give a message of sorts later in the show. Karl thinks the Bible isn't too popular anymore. Ricky and Steve recap Karl's Christmas gift to Suzanne and ask how it was received. Karl added a watch to her gift. The death of Karl's Mam's budgie made for a tough Pilkington Christmas, but she put some feathers on a rock to keep the other bird company.
2. Tandy's Shut (0:05:20)
Suzanne's got Karl a printer for Christmas, but his most memorable gift was from the early '80s when he received a ZX 81 computer with a missing RAM pack.
3. It Was Great Watching Karl (0:09:40)
Get in touch with the worst gift ever to win the Eurythmics platinum disc. Ricky's given Jane 4 tickets to see The Woman in Black and she chose to take Karl and Suzanne, and Ricky talks about their experience. Ricky's a nightmare to dine out with according to both Steve and Karl. Karl talks about their recent dinner out, during which Ricky wants to put Karl's head in a vice, complete with sound effects.
4. How Old Was He Again? (0:015:44)
Steve tells his now-classic experience at the cinema when he went to see Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. Karl's new year's resolution is to learn something new every day, but today is a day off. Steve's is to be less annoyed, and Ricky's is to be more annoying. Ricky's got some PSAs, one of which Karl's Dad disagrees with.
5. Talking of Vicars (0:21:57)
Steve reads off emails of terrible Christmas gifts listeners have gotten. Karl would like a religion with a small book. He begins what turns out to be not a very short summary of the Old Testament and includes some commentary.
6. Don Gervaisi (0:29:57)
Toby in London wins the worst gift prize for getting a book about crude oil. Tom Jones has gotten an OBE and Karl bemoans the fact that you don't have to kill a dragon anymore to get one. Would Rick accept one? He's been invited to the palace three times to Steve's zero. He does some additional namedropping about the time he met Jonathan Ross.
7. Crawl Into Karl's Head (0:36:43)
Steve loves a good cover version. Another recap of what Rockbusters is with some classic examples, and Karl gives the clues.
8. Woah - Jon Inman's Gay? (0:40:26)
A bit of chat about the ban on fox hunting. Karl believes we should stay in our own parts of the earth and Ricky loves when a matador gets gored to death. Chat turns to gay marriage and the natural disasters of 2005. Steve prayed for a natural disaster during Celebrity Love Island and disses Paul Danan.
9. He's a Bit Like Mork (0:45:19)
Karl is underwhelmed by music and prefers a Walkman because he only likes 7 songs, all of which include a story. Karl believes Gays Go Out Too Late.
10. Three Good Clues as Always (0:49:39)
Karl gives the Rockbusters answers.
11. He Met Up With This Bloke Noah (0:52:23)
This link includes the second installment of Karl's sermon, and Steve whinges about King Kong.
12. French Food in Hand (0:57:40)
Seven second link introducing the news.
13. Spotted (0:58:44)
A Chili Peppers CD is up for grabs and Ricky struggles to think up a quiz question. The Daily Mirror has spotted Ricky at Jon Stewart's show. People born under the star sign Cancer are the funniest.
14. What Do You Call Yours? (1:03:24)
Ricky finally settles on a quiz question which Steve thrice calls "unbelievable" despite not being able to name any top broadcasters on the station.
15. Does It Do Us Any Good, Knowing Stuff? (1:05:00)
What are some of the big news stories of the year for Karl? People that are brainy don't look very happy. Blind people are using horses instead of dogs, and a man panicked a chicken with an ax so it would lay more eggs. Karl has made the news this year also for slagging off Cornwall. Karl recounts the time he mistakingly dissed a hairy man at a Cornwall pub and the time a guy at the deck chair hut moaned at him for getting the chairs sandy. Karl's got a new mobile and the predictive text thought "aint" was going to be "biotechnology".
16. Grace Hates the Show (1:12:54)
A listener writes in for being rude about the world. Ricky loves Karl for being the same shape as the world, but Steve thinks that's the pot calling the kettle black. One of Steve's highlights of the year was Live 8, and Karl thinks if Bill Gates gives everyone in the world some money, he should give poor people a bit less.
17. Just Another Bit In It (1:17:16)
Karl's last Bible segment but he doesn't have time to finish the whole book but he wants to talk about Samson, who Ricky thinks is a bit like Peter Stringfellow.
18. Everything About It Is Nonsense (1:21:57)
Monkey News to close the show, about a escaped monkey convict in New York and P.C. Wilcox who captured him but ended up needing the monkey's assistance.