Tim Dorsey Complete (1-17) [MOBI]

Florida Roadkill (Serge Storms Mystery #1)
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money.On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals -- and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs . . . and the suitcase. In the meantime, there's murder by gun, Space Shuttle, Barbie doll, and Levi's 501s.In other words, welcome to Tim Dorsey's Florida -- where nobody gets out unscathed and untanned!

Hammerhead Ranch Motel (Serge Storms Mystery #2)
There's a different schemer or slimeball behind every door: cocaine duckpins who have survived only by the dumbest fortune, hard-luck gigolos desperate to score, undercover cops busting undercover cops who are running sting operations on undercover cops. And just down the row, local historian and spree killer Serge A. Storms -- who has stopped keeping up with his meds -- is still looking for a briefcase stuffed with five million dollars...and is now capable of wreaking more havoc than hurricane Rolando-berto, the big wind gathering force offshore, just waiting for the opportunity to blow everything straight to hell.Pack up your bags and head south to sunny Florida. Leave your rational mind at home and come well armed. There's a room with your number on it at the Hammerhead Ranch Motel.

Orange Crush (Serge Storms Mystery #3)
The Republicans' "golden boy" -- and a loyal, unquestioning tool of the powerful special interests -- handsome, unthreatening, Florida governor-by-default Marlon Conrad seems a virtual shoo-in for re-election. That is, until he undergoes a radical personality shift during a bloody military action in the Balkans. Now it's just three weeks before the election and Marlon is suddenly talking about "issues" and "reform" as he crosses the length and breadth of his home state with an amnesiac speechwriter and a chief of staff who turns catatonic in the presence of minorities. The governor's new-found conscience might well cost him the election, though. And it appears that pretty much everybody from Tallahassee to Miami Beach is trying to kill him...

Triggerfish Twist (Serge Storms Mystery #4)
Jim Davenport is an average family man from Indiana, a classic "nice guy" who moves his family down to quaint, suburban Triggerfish Lane in Tampa, Florida to take a job with a consulting firm. But Triggerfish Lane is not the paradise it appears. A local land-grabber is trying to scare away the homeowners by bringing in an assortment of degenerate tenants. Jim, a pacifist to the core, is fired by his firm after he refuses to allow them to change his report to recommend layoffs. With the firing, Jim's life begins to spin out of control. A defective airbag in Jim's Suburban kills a carjacker who, it develops, has a quartet of vicious brothers who have just been sprung from jail. John Milton, a mild-mannered bank-teller, is laidoff and led to believe that Jim recommended it. Suffering a nervous breakdown, the now-homeless Milton plots revenge. Finally, Serge A. Storms, psychotic thief, spree killer, and Florida history buff, moves into a house down the street from Jim and takes a liking to the "unsung hero of America, a parent," as he and his lackeys Coleman and Sharon plot a kidnap-for-ransom that goes hilariously wrong.

The Stingray Shuffle (Serge Storms Mystery #5)
When serial-killing local Florida historian Serge A. Storms is off his meds, no one is safe -- not Russian hoods, Jamaican mobsters, spoiled frat boys, women's book clubs, drug dealers, bad Vegas-rejected local lounge acts -- especially when $5 million in cash in a bugged suitcase is still racing up and down the Eastern Seaboard. But in the oddball circus known as the Sunshine State, little things like astronomical body counts tend to get lost in the shuffle.

Cadillac Beach (Serge Storms Mystery #6)
And busting out of Chattahoochee State Hospital ... without his meds! The thrill-killing Floridaphile needs to get to the bottom of his bookie grandad's bizarre 1964 death -- not to mention launch "Serge & Lenny's Florida Experience," the new Miami specialty tour venture he's cooked up with his best brain-dead druggie-buddy. It's all good. For Serge A. Storms, anyway. Not so much for anyone else.

Torpedo Juice (Serge Storms Mystery #7)
Enjoying life as a fugitive on the Overseas Highway, lovable serial killer Serge Storms decides to find a bride whose spirit matches his own and finds his search marked by an array of scoundrels, hoodlums, and a believed-dead former accomplice.

The Big Bamboo (Serge Storms Mystery #8)
His marriage plans fizzled, so Floridaphile serial killer Serge A. Storms is on a new mission: to convince the West Coast movie industry bigwigs to do their business in his beloved Sunshine State. So it's off to Tinseltown with his substance-sustained sidekick, Colemanâ to schmooze with craven cokehead producers and visiting Yakuza, who are wrestling to salvage the most disastrous big-budget stinkeroo in the history of celluloid . . . and to radically reduce the rampaging population of true Hollywood slimeballs.

Hurricane Punch (Serge Storms Mystery #9)
That lovable, under-undermedicated dispenser of truth, justice, and trivia is back with a vengeance,just as his cherished home state is about to take a beating from a conga line of hurricanes bearing down on the peninsula. But as Serge and his burnout buddy Coleman go storm-chasing, bodies begin turning up at a disturbing rate, even by Florida standards. It looks like a serial killer is on the loose ...another serial killer... which highly offends Serge's moral sensibilities. And he vows he'll stop at nothing to unmask his thrill-killing rival and make All Things Right though Coleman's triathlete approach to the sport of polyabuse binging threatens to derail the mission more completely than the entire combined Sunshine State police community could ever hope to.

Atomic Lobster (Serge Storms Mystery #10)
Serge A. Storms is back with a bullet, torn between homicide and souvenirs, cranking up the fevered action as the pot boils over on a street called Lobster Lane. It's reunion time in the Sunshine State, and we're not just talking the family jamboree of the blood-soaked McGraw criminal clan, whose nastiest, meanest member, finally released from prison, is heading south bent on revenge. Serge's drug-addled bud Coleman's here as well, torn between getting hammered and getting more hammered, while trying to construct the biggest bong ever. Meanwhile the government is covering up a growing list of mysterious victims across Florida who may or may not be connected to a nefarious plot being hatched against national security. Something has set the Non-Confrontationalists off on a rampage. And everyone is rushing to flee Tampa on a cruise ship to hell.

Nuclear Jellyfish (Serge Storms Mystery #11)
Just when you thought it was safe to go online . . . Serge has returned! That loveable collector of trivia, souvenirs, and murder methods is back with a new A‑Tour of Florida. And this time he's out to set the record straight! Serge is upset that his beloved state isn't getting its proper recognition, so he signs on with the big Internet travel services. But his new employers aren't exactly sure they want to send their customers to Serge's favorite haunts--nor do they want to provide tips on how to keep from getting killed on vacation. Serge couldn't disagree more, and he sets up his own wildcat site, hyper‑blogging his way down the coast with his perpetually hammered sidekick, Coleman. ...Guns, drugs, bloody crime scenes, historically relevant sex, library quiet time, glow‑in‑the dark deformities, hotel drink coupons, a naked woman in a shark cage, and John Travolta. It's time to sign on with Serge and see where the twisting, sun‑splashed trail leads in . . . Nuclear Jellyfish!

Gator A-Go-Go (Serge Storms Mystery #12)
Serge A. Storms, the Sunshine State's numero uno favourite son, knower of All Things Florida, and sometimes medicated psychopath, has made it his life's mission to eliminate the slimeballs, jerks, and pests of every flavour polluting his beloved state. From the panhandle to the Keyes, the statehouse to the Everglades, he's laid down his own brand of law - helped by his drug-addled deputy, Coleman - terrorising everyone from greedy land developers and crooked politicians to shady gangsters and Hollywood phonies. All that murder and mayhem is exhausting, and now Serge is going to take a well-deserved vacation. Packing up their guns, drugs, and sunscreen, he and Coleman set out for their own special kind of Spring Break. But they aren't the only crazies headed to the beach. A Miami crime gang is determined to put the hurt on a snitch's college-age son dumb enough to go to (you guessed it!) Florida. When the gang picks up the son's trail, Serge picks up the gang's, and the chase is on - a merry ride back through time as Serge takes a growing cast of babes, nuts, and nasties on a tour of the state's historic landmarks of the famous annual rite of youth

Electric Barracuda (Serge Storms Mystery #13)
Serge Storms, that loveable thermonuclear vigilante and one-stop-Florida-trivia-shop, has been leaving corpses strewn across the Sunshine State for more than a decade. The authorities—especially one tenacious state agent—have begun to notice the exponential body count, and send a police task force to track down Serge. Could his luck finally have run out? Meanwhile, armed with his perpetually baked sidekick, Coleman, Serge decides to blitz the state and resurrect his Internet travel-advice website—which, of course, must be the finest and the final word on trekking the Sunshine State. To up the ante, Serge concocts a theme vacation for his cyberspace audience. And that theme? You, too, can experience Florida through the eyes of a fugitive. Off they go blogging along a getaway route through the state's most remote bayous, back roads, and bars, where the number of cadavers begin stacking up like Serge's website hits. .. So gas up the car, say good-bye to the relatives, and join Serge on the lam as he drives straight for the deepest bowels of Florida to unravel the final mysteries of Electric Barracuda.

When Elves Attack: A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State (Serge Storms Mystery #14)
I'm dreaming of a Serge Christmas . . .Palm trees with twinkle lights . . . Santa's big belly protruding over a neon Speedo . . . It's ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents. But before that, it's all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there's that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves--they bite). While you're there, skip the lame photo on Santa's lap--Serge will give you a lap ride you'll never forget. As for that addled elf Coleman, there's nothing like a white Christmas. Let it snow! So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!

Pineapple Grenade (Serge Storms Mystery #15)
Miami has always set the weirdness bar, but Serge Storms is back in action and ready to pole vault over it. First, there’s the media frenzy over the “Hollow Man,” a gutless corpse found on the beach. And yet people think it’s perfectly normal to find dead sharks in the middle of downtown boulevards—or to spot black mushroom clouds behind the airport. Then there are the roving bands of carjackers who suddenly find themselves inconvenienced. Not to mention people lurking outside sex-addiction meetings. Could this be the work of Serge, that eccentric trivialista and one-man vigilante? ... The crossfire of chaos continues to escalate as Serge plays Extreme Dominos in Little Havana, hurtling everyone toward a fateful climax that seems destined for the hemispheric summit jamboree on the shores of Biscayne Bay. So put on your favorite pink flamingo shirt, hit the dunes of South Beach, and find all the answers in . . . Pineapple Grenade!

The Riptide Ultra-Glide (Serge Storms Mystery #16)
Now that they have some unexpected free time, freshly unemployed Wisconsinites Patrick and Barbara McDougal are going to treat themselves to a modest vacation in sunny Florida. Sitting poolside at a pretty motel, they're going to drown their sorrows in those fruity umbrella drinks. But the motel they arrive at isn't quite the pastel paradise they saw on the web. Refused a refund and tight on money, they have no choice but to stay. Being Midwesterns, they'll make the best of a bad situation. Except when bad goes to worse. They're robbed and everything is gone, including the ID they need to get on a plane and go back home. Plus, they're so broke they can't even take a bus. Too bad the police are no help. They're more intimidating than the criminals. Stranded and alone, Pat and Barb need someone to rescue them. Someone to show them a bright spot. Someone to make the evildoers darkening the good name of the Sunshine state pay. Someone who has the courage, the knowledge, and the all-out crazy to make these nice Midwestern tourists believe in Florida again. That someone is who else? Serge Storms. Welcome to Paradise!

Tiger Shrimp Tango (Serge Storms Mystery #17)
All just another day in Serge Storms's sun-splashed paradise! Thanks to the growth of the Internet, America finds itself plagued by a noxious epidemic of ruthless scam artists. Where do they all come from? If you guessed 110 percent of them are spawned in Florida, you win the cigar. . . . When a new digital scheme goes horribly awry— causing innocents to die and a young woman to go missing—only one person can set things right: obsessive Florida trivia buff and reluctant serial killer Serge Storms. Aided by his perpetually addled sidekick, Coleman, and latter-day noir private eye Mahoney, Serge launches a crusade to rid his beloved state of predators and save the girl. But Serge's mission is hampered by one pesky little detail: he's being tracked by a hit man dis-patched from his murky past. And all bets are off when Serge learns the same assassin is responsible for killing the love of his life years ago. It's not long before the two begin tracking each other around Florida in a frenzied Möbius loop. It's a dance only one can survive—it's the Tiger Shrimp Tango!